how do you spend your yeses

We are wanted. Our attention is coveted. It feels really good to feel needed. But if we aren’t careful, we’ll burn through our closest relationships. Read on…

In Today’s Email

1. For Spouses, Parents, Children & Friends

2. Let’s Talk!

3. Nouwen on the question for Christian Leadership

For Spouses, Parents, Children & Friends

What a gift to serve the Lord vocationally. What a high calling and honor. But in the years to come when we look back on our ministry years, will we be proud of the amount of services, extra hours given, and number of programs or small groups led if…

our spouses are strangers, our children are distant, or our aging parents were lonely?

The work of ministry is so worth it. The proclamation of the Gospel IS the highest calling. Give it everything you’ve got. God has called you to it.

It will require sacrifice. It will be difficult. There will be times when your vocational role will require long hours. Work faithfully. Work is good. What we’re addressing here is our tendency to be so available to others at the expense of those closest to us. We all have lived here.

But those closest to you need the Gospel, too. And they need you.

There is a deep need today for present, Gospel-centered spouses, parents, children, and friends. Gospel-centered families and friends change communities.

An encouragement for those of you in the trenches:

For Spouses

If you are married, text or call your spouse today just to tell them that you love and appreciate them. Your spouse may sometimes feel like the most unseen person in your church - especially for those of you who lead from stage regularly.

If you don’t have this rhythm already, give your spouse permission to regularly be honest about their perception of your pace and the pace of your family. Give them permission to tell you what they really need from you.

It’s often the spouses of worship pastors that “burn out” before the worship pastors do.

Your enemy is actively at work to disrupt your marriage. Unfortunately, one often successful vessel for his work has been vocational ministry.

For Parents

Your kids will never be this age again. Study their faces. Study their hearts. Your most important ministry is to your family. Every extra thing you agree to do is one more night that got away, one more lost Saturday of play.

Your kids are watching you and your pace of life. Give them your eyes. Give them your undivided attention. Let the world stop for them. Especially when they are young, you are the earthly shadow of the heavenly.

How great would it be for them to be confident that the Lord loves them, hears their prayers, and cares about them because they feel so loved, seen, and heard by their parents.

If you feel guilt in this area, don’t. Today is the day the Lord has made. There is grace for it and for all past days. Today is another day to love your children well!

For Children

So many of us have aging parents. One of the greatest regrets we hear is that of those who wished they would’ve spent more time with or cared for their parents as they got older.

You may or may not be in a position to do so. They may be far away. Some may have passed. But if you have the opportunity, does your schedule allow for it? If not, what demands your time?

For Friends

Some of you reading this are not married and do not have kids. But, as with all people, you play the vital and often overlooked role of friend. Are you the friend you want to be? Can you be counted on to come through in the great moments of need? Will you be called upon?

Who gets your limited number of yeses?

Seasons

Our capacity and ability to say yes expands and contracts with the seasons. There are seasons where there is great freedom with your time and relationships to say yes and do more. There are seasons where one more thing on the calendar will start to strain your most important relationships.

Our task is to discern our season and trust the Lord.

Saying no can create fear. You may miss an opportunity. You may feel like you’re getting behind or disappointing someone.

But in the years ahead when you take a walk with your spouse, or your child calls you for advice or prayer, or you gather again with dearest friends, you won’t regret your no’s.

Let’s Talk!

Vocational ministry is a journey that can sometimes feel lonely or misunderstood. We all need people in our corner who get it.

We would love to connect with you! If you’d like to meet with someone from our team, get started by filling out this form.

Nouwen on the Question for Christian Leadership

Join our community!

• Gatherings - Looking to connect with other leaders? Come to our free monthly hangs with local leaders in select US cities or join us quarterly online!

• One on One - Looking to process your ministry, your faith, or your challenges with a third-party you can trust? Set up a meeting with a member of our team.

• Vocal Coaching - Feeling stuck or discouraged vocally? We offer professional in-house voice coaching specifically to worship leaders. Best part? We raise funds so we can give you a BIG discount. Schedule a consultation with our team!